Compiled by: Rev. Vic Logan

Three friends decided to go hunting together. One was a lawyer, one a doctor, and the other a preacher. As they were walking, along came a big buck. The three of them shot at the same time and the buck dropped immediately. The hunting party rushed to see how big it actually was. Upon reaching the fallen deer, they found out that it was dead but had only one bullet hole.

A debate followed concerning whose buck it was. When a game warden came by, he offered to help. A few moments later, he had the answer.

He said with much confidence, "The pastor shot the buck!" The friends were amazed that he could determine that so quickly and with so little examination. The game warden just smiled. "It was easy to figure out. The bullet went in one ear and out the other."

In the Beginning…

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and then He rested.

Then God created man, and then they both rested.

Then God created woman, and since then neither God nor man has ever rested.

Church Sign Chuckles

Some favorite messages spotted on church signs or billboards, submitted by Beliefnet members:

-Fire Insurance Inside

-This Church Is Prayer Conditioned

-God Answers Knee Mail

-PRAY NOW! Avoid Christmas Rush!

-Sign broken, come inside for message

-This is a ch--ch. What's missing? U R!

-Stop in the name of love and meet the Supreme

-Wal-Mart's not the only savings place

-The best position is on your knees!

Church Bulletin Bloopers: Carpets and Choir Robes

A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

The Father is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

Announcement: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals."

The agenda was adopted. The minutes were approved. The financial secretary gave a grief report.

Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All."

Hymns for All Professions

Dentist's Hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns

Weatherman's Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings

Contractor's Hymn: The Church's One Foundation

Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy

Golfer's Hymn: There's a Green Hill Far Away

Politician's Hymn: Standing on the Promises

Optometrist's Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See

IRS Agent's Hymn: I Surrender All

Gossip's Hymn: Pass It On

Electrician's Hymn: Send The Light

Shopper's Hymn: Sweet By and By

Realtor's Hymn: I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop

Massage Therapist's Hymn: He Touched Me

Doctor's Hymn: The Great Physician

The Generous Barber

After receiving a beautiful haircut, a doctor asks the barber, "How much do I owe you?"

"Oh, I never charge a doctor," the barber replies. "You all do such good, important work."

The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds a thank you note and a bottle of wine on his doorstep from the doctor.

Later that day, a police officer walks into the same barbershop. After a beautiful haircut, the police office asks the barber, "How much do I owe you?"

"Oh, I never charge a police officer," the barber replies. "You all do such good, important work."

The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds a thank you note and a box of candy on his doorstep from the police officer.

Later that day, a rabbi walks into the same barbershop. After a beautiful haircut, the rabbi asks the barber, "How much do I owe you?"

"Oh, I never charge a rabbi," the barber replies. "You all do such good, important work."

The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds twelve rabbi's on his doorstep.