What is the Marriage Code?

 

By Pam Ferrel

Codes are all around us and we have a code for just about everything
these days. We have access codes for gates, bank accounts, personal
computers, professional workstations and websites. In our daily
lives, we gain directions from Global Positioning Systems, we see bar
codes on everything we buy and we have become comfortable with credit
cards that contain vital information on magnetic strips. The military
uses codes to keep our nation safe. Businesses use codes to track
clients, forecast buying patterns and safeguard professional
intelligence. Codes come in all shapes and sizes and can be very
useful in helping us gain confidence and information. However, the
decoding process is not always easy.
You may be asking the question at this point, “Why do we need a
code to figure each other out? Can’t it just be simple? Can’t we
discover a rhythm for our relationship and stay in that rhythm?” We
hate to have to say to you that it is just not that simplistic. You
are very different from one another and you have different needs at
the core of who you are. So, just what are these core needs? Every
person has the need to be secure and to be successful. Security is
the belief that it is safe to be who I am. Success is the belief that
my life is workable. Both genders need both security and success, but
if a man is forced to choose between the two, he will elect success.
If a woman listed her top need it would be security.

As a result, the marriage code is counterintuitive. The username
and password that will give men access to a workable relationship
with his wife is:

Username: HusbandPassword: Security
The marriage code goes active when
men learn to enter “security” as the password.
He does this when he makes it
his ambition to meet his wife’s security need first in all things.
Any time she gets the message from him, “You are safe with me and
it is alright to be who you are right now,” her heart is drawn
toward him and she relaxes in the relationship. It is a learned skill
for men because it goes against our instincts.

The username and password that will give women access to a secure
relationship with her husband is:Username: WifePassword: Success
The marriage code goes active when
women learn to enter “success” as the password.
She does this when she makes
it her ambition to create an environment where her husband can
“succeed” with her. Any
time he gets the message from her, “I love the way you live and I
love the way you love me,” his heart is drawn toward her and he
gains confidence in the relationship
How does it work in real life? The
Marriage Code concept, book
and study guide all became a reality when we began to observe what
couples really needed was a code, a practical, sure fire way to gain
access into each other’s heart. Then it hit us. Most marriages fall
short because each person either doesn’t know how or doesn’t want
to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit.

The Marriage Code
releases fall 09. To preorder a copy go to
www.farrelcommunications.com
. Pam and Bill Farrel are international speakers, relationship
specialists and authors of over 30 books including Men
are like Waffles, women are like Spaghetti.