Successful co-parenting requires good communication, and research shows that children whose parents make an effort to communicate effectively with one another fair better in the months and years following a divorce. One small thing that you can do to improve positive communication between you and your ex is to meet regularly to talk about raising your children. Here are some tips to help structure each meeting:

1. Set a Business-like Tone

Moving forward, try to look at your relationship with your ex as a business partnership. In many ways, it is. You share the common goal of raising your children. You may not like each other, and communicating together will certainly be challenging, but the success of your "business" - your children's healthy adjustment - depends on it.

2. Meet Weekly

Be committed to meeting on a consistent basis, such as weekly. This will convey the message to your children that - when it comes to raising them - you are indeed a united front. Yes, this will be extremely difficult in the early stages of your divorce or separation. However, keep your focus centered on your common goals - the children - and the meetings will get easier with time.

3. Communicate Through the Phone and E-mail

You do not have to meet in person! In many cases, talking on the phone or using E-mail is preferable. That's okay as long as you are committed to communicating with one another using whatever medium is most productive for the two of you.

4. Use an Agenda

There are certain topics - such as schedules, school progress, and behavioral concerns - that you're going to want to cover each week in your meetings. You can simplify your discussions by using a printed agenda. Create a standard form to include all the topics you wish to discuss regularly, and complete it prior to your meeting. When both parents make this effort prior to each meeting, the sessions will become much more productive. This will also help each of you focus your energy on what really matters.

5. Stay Focused on the Kids

The purpose of your meetings is to work together in raising your children, which is not going to happen unless you make the effort to communicate effectively with one another. Therefore, each of you must make a conscious decision to stay focused on the kids during these meetings. It's not the time for personal discussions or rehashing conflicts in your relationship. If you need to schedule time for those kinds of discussions, do it separate from your regular co-parenting meeting. Also, try to set a time limit for your meetings, such as 30 minutes.

7 Steps when meeting

Step 1: Discuss Your Schedules

You'll want to confirm your visitation schedules for the week and discuss who will be picking up and/or dropping off the kids. In addition, don't forget to talk about important school functions and events that may either conflict with future visitation dates or necessitate both parents' attendance.

Discuss the Kids' Academic Progress

What has been happening in school recently? Have the teachers raised any concerns? Are your children having difficulty with their homework? If so, you'll want to share what each of you can do to help, and come to a consensus about study habits, such as when homework should be completed and how much independent reading is expected each evening.

Discuss the Kids' Behavioral Progress

What behaviors are you reinforcing at home that you'd like the other parent to encourage? For example, if you're limiting TV time to one hour each day, you'll want to briefly talk about why you're working on this area, and ask the other parent to do the same. It may not always be possible to keep the same rules and routines in each home, but even just being aware of what you're each doing can be helpful.