I live with my husband, my 18 month old daughter and my brother. Normally I keep the house pretty tidy and feel comfortable when I know that the house is clean, but for the last few years we have always had people staying with us and the house just gets so messy and disgusting that I almost can't even bare to be here anymore.

First we had my husband's sister in law come and live with us for, then she moved out and my husband's brother moved in. He then moved out and we had a neighbor live with us for a monthor so because her boyfriend kicked her out and now we have my husbands other brother living with us, with his pregnant girlfriend and their 2 kids.

Every Sunday I do a big clean up of the house because it makes me feel better but once it is done. Most of the time, I am never even here to enjoy having a clean house before it is filthy again. I have to take my daughter to childcare every morning then go to work, then come home at night to a disgusting house and then it is Sunday again, and I have to clean it all over again.

I feel like what's the point but if I don't do it who will. Everyone thinks I am a clean freak but I'm not. I am just normal. Most people like to have a tidy house don't they? When I go to other people's houses, their place is always tidy. Their home might not be perfect but normal lived in messy which is normal, but always clean.

I just cannot keep on top of everything. Last night I went to my Nanna's for dinner, and came home to a kitchen that had food splattered all over the sink, tiles and floor. There were dirty pots and pans sitting in the sink full of dirty water, plates and cups all over the table and an overflowing counter top that stank to high heaven.

I have been cleaning it all morning and haven't even started on the bathrooms yet. I'm just taking a moment to breath, so I can let all my frustration out.

I am starting to get worried that we are always going to have people living with us and I will never feel comfortable in my own home. Am I selfish because I don't want people living with us for long periods. An occasional visitor for a few days might be ok.

As soon as I get home at night I just want to turn around and leave again. My husband thinks I am unreasonable and just a complainer He says I need to relax and it won't be forever but I don't know about that, based on our history in the past. I can't relax or feel happy unless the place feels clean and we don't have time to be close with each other. Sometimes I wish I could just get my own place with my daughter and just leave them all here. In my frustration, I really am seriously considering it.

Sorry to complain...I needed to vent. If I called someone to have shared these feelings I would just be annoying them, so it's easier here on the Internet. At least I can say what I want to say.

You know it is nice to help someone that's down and out, but time limits have to be placed and rules have to laid created. It kills me that these people not only expect you to help them with a place to live, but they are a total mess and become slobs in fact. I cannot believe they do nothing but steal oxygen and space.

Depending on how these people were raised, they should have the common courtesy to clean up after themselves and go the extra mile in fact. I would spell it out for them literally as to what is expected. I would make sure they understood what they were to do to at least clean up after themselves. Are they eating your food too? How about your utilities?

You actually need to make up your mind whether you are going to be a part of the problem or part of the solution. If they fail to abide by your rules of picking up after themselves, just say I'm sorry but you have to find another place to live. Give them 30 days and that's reasonable. Once they leave, I'd hang a no vacancy sign for someone else in the family to see. Are they paying rent? Do you need that money? If so let anyone else know the guidelines before they move in.

I clean my house several times a day. I vacuum and wet mop. I have a German Shepard. He sheds but you wouldn't know I have a dog in the house because I keep it clean. You are not in a position to do that with your job. Your husband may like living in filth and have these relatives staying over because he expects you to clean up their mess. That is unfair. I couldn't live like that. I would be gone really quickly. How about letting him and them live together in filth!

You're not wrong, you're husband is and his guests.

I know exactly how you feel! I hurt for you. You are normal. You should not have to live this way. You are not a complainer. You are being taken advantage of. I don't know how long I would stand for that, but your husband needs to make a decision between the well being of his own wife and children and that of his relatives destroying your home daily. Seems like word has gotten out to his relatives that your home is for welfare cases. Maybe he needs to learn how to say no!

It's bad enough having to clean up after a really messy husband let alone his freeloaders, if that is what they are. Sooner or later you may have to say either they go or you go. I of course don't expect things to change at my house. My daughter is here so I'm going to be here and make the best of it. But I don't think I would stand for your situation. Best wishes and chin up. I will pray for you.