I used to really freak out about our house, thinking that everyone else in the world had a clean house. I was talking to my mom about this, and she made 3 points. (One), when I was 3 years old, our house stayed clean because we didn't have much to clean. (Two), different people have different priorities, if having fun and living life are a priority, sometimes a clean house is just going to have to wait. (Three) She said, remember, you have a 3 year old! 3 year olds are messy. Children are messy. Do your best to teach them to pitch in, do your best to do the things they can't do, and learn to let go of the rest.
Be okay with the fact that your children probably aren't going to clean things as well as you. I have friends <http://www.mamapedia.com/n/friends> that warn me before I come over, "My house is trashed." I get over there, and there may be a little clutter here and there but it's not bad. I don't judge them for it. I'm glad they trust me enough to invite me over when there house isn't perfect.
One of the things that really helps me get things picked up quick is having dish washing bins (just little flat bins that are 1.99 at Big lots) I'll spread them out and throw mail that needs sorting in one, toys <http://www.mamapedia.com/n/toys> in another, electronic gadgets in another, etc. Then take the bins to their destination. Makes picking up easier in kid's rooms, too.
Try picking up one room per day. Or during nap time, set aside one task to complete.
Also, get your kids involved. Have a race to see who can pick up the most toys by the time a timer goes off. You could pick a color each day and pick up everything that color each day. Play "I Spy" and whatever they spy, they have to pick up.
There are lots of ways to have fun with it.
I know what you're saying1 I value a very clean house too, but i realized that sometimes I just can't be wonder-woman, super-maid, and super-mom too. I came to the conclusion that it can't be perfect all the time because we as humans, aren't perfect all the time.
You may just have to let it go once in a while to spend some more quality time with your kids. I do daily maintenance, like dishes, picking up laundry, etc. everyday, but i save the big stuff for one day a week. I clean the whole house (toilets, windows, dusting) once a week, generally on Friday, so I don't have to send my weekend doing it. I save Saturdays for fun family activities <http://www.mamapedia.com/n/activities> and Sundays we don't do any house work.
I used to stress out about it getting messy, but then I realized that my kids won't remember if their house was clean when they were little, but they will remember that they spent a lot of time having fun with their mom. It sounds like you have a great husband that will understand if it isn't perfect a couple of days because you spent the day doing fun things to enrich your children's lives.
If you have people unexpectedly drop by, just tell them you've been out with the kids and the house is kid of a mess. If you're not comfortable with that, ask them to call first, so if it is a little messy, you can ask them to visit another time.
Just realize that, you're only human. You're a mom of three small kids and life is messy. You can't keep it perfect and keep your sanity.
You sound like your stuck in Chaos (can't have anyone over syndrome) which is part of the perfectionism we all get caught up in. I solved my problem by subscribing to FlyLady.net.
I have her book Sink Reflections as a check list when my husband helps out on the weekend. It really has cut back on the amount of time I have to invest in housework because I can do it at 2-15 minute intervals instead of trying to start one room then getting sidetracked and spending all day to get back to it.
Right now my house is a bit of a mess but normally it's pretty clean. If you can get your house to the way you would like it to be then just work a little bit everyday on one room or one chore. I prefer to do one room a day so one room is always sparkling. I have a friend who prefers to do all the dusting one day, then the vacuuming one day, etc.
So whatever works for you. Normally it only takes me 20-30 minutes to clean one room. Your 6 and 3 year olds are old enough to help now. The 6 year old can take out garbage from the bathroom(s) or bedrooms and put dishes in the dishwasher if you have one. The 3 year old can help out by dusting with a sock on her hand. Good luck! I hope I helped.
We have the same exact problem. I can't do it all, but my husband doesn't care, and then when people came over, it was a rush to try to hide things or clean things as quick as we could at the last minute, but that never lasted.
I hated it when people dropped by. Here's what we did...I had a heart to heart with hubby. I explained that when the house is such a mess, I can't function and it's really bothering me. We both agreed to write a list of all of the house hold chores and how often they need to be done. Then we delegated. The girls have chores they must do (with a chore chart) and each of us compromised on the chores we would do.
We made it fair so neither of us had more than the other (my husband works at home, so he takes more responsibilities than if he worked outside of the home). So anyway, I typed up a schedule and posted it on the fridge so I know what to do for the day. My husband put his on his computer and it pops up a reminder every time he brings up his email. We also agreed to be accountable to each other. We can ask the other if a certain chore was done and not get offended by it. I hope this helps!
C.
