Perhaps you recall the story where this thief scouts out an elderly woman's home on the north side of Atlanta for two weeks. Thinking he has the place to loot all by himself he walks in and begins to rummage through her loose cash, expensive jewelry and grabs a chocolate chip cookie for the road. Just as he is four steps from the door he hears the most startling voice and words he ever heard.
A woman behind screams: "Acts 2:38 - Repent on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shall be saved!" The cookie drops from his mouth, his knees begin to shake like Elvis and his eyes are bigger than basketballs. Without turning around, he puts both hands high towards Heaven!
The lady (81 year old owner of the house) calmly calls 9-11. To his surprise she was home all along! Fourteen minutes later it seemed as every squad car in Georgia pulled up in front of her home, with guns drawn and to everyone's surprise the thief is still standing in the house with his hands erect.
The captain on the scene begins to laugh when he sees the thief at bay while the senior citizen calmly standing behind him looks as cool as a cucumber. The captain says to thief: "Buddy, I have seen it all and I have witnessed a lot of strange stuff in 31 years on the force but I have never seen this. How in the world did you let an old lady in her own home quote you one Bible verse and it scared you so much you had nearly 15 minutes to flee and you are still standing here in her house for us to make an arrest? Why didn't you run?
The thief replied: "Old lady with a Bible verse? Look officer, the only thing I heard someone scream was "I got an ax and two 38's (Acts 2:38) and I wasn't moving!"
The morale of the story is that we find power in the Word of God! We find our peace, power, purpose and protection in the Bible. Remember with Christ we are victors not victims!
God bless and go with God!
Frank Shelton, Jr. is a native of Washington, DC and resides in Waldorf, MD with his wife, Ruth & daughter, Hannah Grace. He is a national speaker, author and uses HUMOR, celebrity impressions and captivating stories that encourage the discouraged. After working 17 years for Congress; he walked away "by faith" to do the work of an evangelist. Visit www.FrankShelton.com
After hearing a Bible lesson in Sunday school about miracles, a little girl went up to her Sunday school teacher.
"In my house," said the little girl, "when handwriting appears on the wall it's not a miracle, it's the work of my little brother."
A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for a while, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff ... church, church, church."
A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river.
He proceeds to walk into the water and stand next to the preacher. The minister notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, preacher, I sure am."
The minister dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right backup.
"Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asks.
"Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk.
The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up, and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"
"Noooo, I have not, reverend."
The preacher, in disgust, holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water, and says in a harsh tone, "My God, man, have you found Jesus yet?"
The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?
Three young boys were walking on the sidewalk arguing over whose daddy was the greatest. One said, "My dad is the greatest because he is the president of the town bank." The second boy said, "That is pretty good, but my daddy owns two grocery stores in town!" The third boy said, "That's nothing, my dad is a preacher, and he owns hell. He came home last night and told my mom that the Church Board gave it to him!"
You do know what would have happened if it had been three wise WOMEN instead of men, don't you?
They would have asked for directions,
arrived on time,
helped deliver the baby,
cleaned the stable,
made a casserole,
and brought disposable diapers as gifts!
God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
God created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
