Written on the date of their third wedding anniversary
On June 26, 2004, we became man and wife.This weekend, we've found ourselves laughing and remembering some of our craziest moments… white water kayaking in Alaska on our honeymoon, camping in our little tent during a huge thunderstorm in Montana (why pay for hotel rooms when you can camp as you drive across country?!), hiking on early mornings in the desert-which we've done since the first official day of our relationship, remembering the day my water broke and we realized we'd be parents for the first time within a day or so, the day John ran his first-and only thus far -marathon, setting up our first house together, not always eating dinner till 8:00 in those first few months because I would sometimes forget that my mama wasn't making supper that night!, trying-and failing-when it came to training a black furry puppy, laying sod in a little base housing back yard shortly before learning we'd have to leave that house… memories that make me smile just typing them out.
This day, three years later, finds us watching God work as we look for a house in a new city. Truly, that's what it's been so far! Praying, being a little scared, and then having God remind us that He is in control, as always-and have you ever been so blessed by someone all you can do is weep? That's us today. We still have to see where the next step will be, but our God is faithful… He's been more than faithful to us over the past three years, through life decisions, through three moves so far, through allowing us to love four babies, graciously giving us the supreme blessing of being able to hold one in our arms and now be eagerly awaiting the same with this next one, and showing us Himself even when He took the other two back to His own arms, through promotions, fun times, exciting trips, and abundant blessings, through hard times, tight times, and lots if smallish and not-so-smallish mistakes… through all that these last three years have held, He's been faithful. When we look ahead, and realize that anything we think we've learned thus far will seem like nothing when we hit ten, twenty and fifty years, all we can do is look back, see our Lord's faithfulness, in every situation, and know that whatever comes, He will be faithful. In honor of today, the day we were married, here is the story of how God's faithfulness in our relationship began… it is long… very long, in fact. But it is precious to us, because this is how it all started, and if this was just the beginning, we can only guess at how much better the story is going to get.
I could begin to tell the tale of our courtship with the story of my dad getting a ticket aboard a Marine Corps base just moments after being asked by a young man for permission to court his daughter.. or I could begin it with the afternoon at church I spent talking about music and Christian colleges with this new young Marine. or I could begin it with the day I stood next to my dad as a fourteen year old and watched this same Marine wait quietly to tell my dad goodbye before leaving our area. But, in truth, the heart of this story begins long before any of that.
My parents heard the term "courtship" shortly after we began homeschooling in 1992. Being the sold-out extremist I was, at eight years old I was telling my fellow second grade friends why they should believe in courtship. I also remember the blank stares I got back!
For years, I could recite a perfect courtship speech. After all, I had read the books, listened to the seminars, talked to the speakers, pored over the articles. I knew my stuff! In my mind, courtship was basically a formula. A plus B always equaled C. I measured the "success" of real-life stories I read or heard based on how they measured up to my standard.
Little did I know that when my dad met a young Marine at our new church just before Christmas 2000, God was about to blow all my preconceived ideas right out of the water.
We had just started attending this church that year and were meeting many new people. After a few years of church searching and being without a church home, God was showing my family the error in some of our thinking regarding the church and the body of believers. We were once again falling in love with the Body of Christ in the location He had put us.
My dad has always had a heart for young men, and when he met a young Marine at our church, it was no different. They would talk after services and my dad was impressed with his heart for the Lord, and the fact that, as a young man in the military, he was remaining faithful to Christ even in difficult circumstances. There are many young men who, when away from home and their parents, no longer attend church by their own choosing.
One particular Sunday, we were sitting in a row and this Marine was sitting at the end. Directly in front of us sat a group of teenagers who were much more interested in each other than the message being preached. I was disgusted. My self-righteousness grew and festered until I was no longer paying attention to the sermon myself. I sighed loudly and rolled my eyes. I mean, didn't they know this was church?
On our way home that day, my parents, who had caught wind of my annoyance during the service, were remarking that it was interesting to watch the young Marine at the end of our row. He was listening intently throughout the service and the Lord's Supper which followed, taking notes and seeming to not be bothered at all with the disturbances in front of us. They both mentioned that we would do good to follow his example.
A few weeks later, our pastor announced during the service that the Marine my dad had been talking to would be leaving for another Marine Corps Base during the week. Afterward, my younger brother, Zach, and I were standing next to my dad while he talked to another man when I noticed Zach talking to the Marine.
A minute later I asked him what they were talking about and Zach, who was then seven, replied, "I told him to wait and not leave. Dad would want to say bye to him."
I was a bit mortified that Zach would tell him to wait there, but Zach thought he had done a great deed. until, that is, we were in the car going home. My parents were talking together about feeling bad that it had never worked out for that Marine to come for dinner while he was here and Zach piped up with the information that he had been the one to tell him to say good bye to Dad. We laughed and told him that he hadn't really needed to tell him, and poor Zach felt bad.
The young Marine left, and we soon forgot his name, often referring to him as "that young Marine guy." When talking to my brother about examples of godly character in older young men, my parents would point to "that young Marine guy" as one such person.
The next two years became a time of tremendous growth for me, but only as the result of some very difficult times.
I began to change, and not all the change was for the better. God, in His infinite wisdom, had to get me to a place of complete surrender to Him, and in the process, had to peel away the layers of self-righteousness and the outward facade I had been living behind. I realized I enjoyed the attention of young men, and I no longer cared about protecting my emotional purity as I had so long said I would do. In my blindness to the deceitfulness of my own heart, I would recite my "courtship speech" to a friend, then relish in the attention given by young men at church.
