I know that I have had this problem for a long time. Sometimes, I just can't seem to cool down and I get angry very easily. At times, every little thing just ticks me off making me very, very angry; so angry that I am capable of harming people.

However, I have been trying to control my anger but when I do I feel a tightness around my chest/heart and feeling faint too. There are so many times I wished I could just kill whoever it was that irritated me. When I get angry, it doesn't really matter who you are. I know that I'm capable of violence but I cannot do this to other people so I inflict violence on myself.

What should I do? Honestly, I think it's affecting my life in a serious way. I don't want anyone to think that I'm crazy.

I really want to stop being angry so easily. How should I really go about it? I've tried almost everything already!

Dear Yvonne,

First, I want to congratulate you.

I know and you know you have this terrible anger problem, and it is so bad that sometimes you want to kill people. I am so proud of you for not giving in to these feelings. Instead, you are fighting them, and are doing your best not to hurt anybody. This shows that you are a good person with a good heart and smart. Realize that the devil is often tempting you to do things that are not good or in your best interest. He does not want you to succeed, but to fail. The great thing is that even though he puts those thoughts in your mind, you are rebelling against those thoughts and doing something positive about them.

We both realize you are facing a very difficult situation, but you are tough, and I can see that it makes you feel bad about yourself when you have these feelings. Just from your short note, I cannot tell what the causes of the problems are, but there is help available. You and others like you need face to face help, several sessions over a few weeks or even longer.

Please, go to your doctor. There may be some physical reason for your sudden feelings of anger.

Then, get your doctor to recommend a psychologist to help you. I know, whether you have a physical problem or not, you will need help with getting out of this bad habit of feeling angry that took a long time to form. I also know that feelings and thoughts are habits, just as much as actions are. You can and you will change that bad habit. Do not give the devil any victory. He is powerless if you call on God when you are feeling these feelings. Just begin to pray and ask the Lord to help you. The two of you God and you can whip the Devil. Make up your mind you are going to beat him and you can.

If you can't find a suitable therapist where you live, I am willing to work with you through encrypted email, but in your situation this is second best to a face-to-face helper. If you are interested, go to my man."

In the meantime, I can suggest a few things you can do to control the anger.

1. An off-switch for anger

There is nothing you can do when you are in a full rage. But you can train yourself to recognize the early signs, and at that stage you can control anger. I am glad you have listed your email address. I am attaching a file with instructions on how to create an on / off "switch" for yourself. When you feel anger coming, take a deep breath and ask God for his peace. (and before it has taken full hold), you will be able to use this "switch" so you can stay in control of yourself and the Devil and turn off the anger immediately.

It is important not to use this switch until it is fully trained, about 2 weeks of daily practice is what it will take. (this is easy to do because it makes you feel good), and we all love to feel good.

As I say in the instructions, during the second week of training, do the exercises with lessened muscle tension. You want to be able to have an "early warning signal" for anger, and this is the buildup of muscle tension. By the end of the second week of training, you should be able to notice this.

2. The thoughts behind anger.

Emotions like anger have thoughts that go with them. Thoughts can be true or false, useful or harmful. You can argue with the thoughts anger puts into your head, and in this way gain control over yourself.

3. Anger is often because someone did not do things you expected, when you expected them or how you expected them. Remember, you do not think the same as others and they do not think the same as you.

4. You may need to have empathy for others instead of expectations. I once heard if you have expectations, expect to be let down.

5. The world does not center around you or me. Often anger comes from selfishness. God says it is our nature to be selfish, but he would want us to be selfless.

6. In the bible it says in 1st Corinthians: "Love hardly ever sees wrong in others. I practice loving others, and I know you can too. I was amazed how simple this really is.

Go to my web site, scroll down the navigation bar until you see 'how to solve a problem' and click on this. Try out the various suggestions there, in particular keeping a diary of the thoughts associated with anger. This will help you to work out the reason you get so angry.

And let me know how you do.

All the best,