This article is about analyzing anger in relationships, not only the anger in itself but how it grows and how things that shouldn't expand and aggravate it do, and in most cases cause more damage than the initial or ongoing incident itself.

1. Remember that there is little difference between love and hate, but also remember it is a choice, and there are ways to resolve it and not only repair a relationship, but enrich it. Many people think acknowledging anger is the first step on the road to recovery, but in relationships especially in troubled marriages, the first step should always be the understanding that there will always be speed bumps.

2. Don't be afraid to apologize. There will always be conflict. And failure to resolve the situation WITH that person could and probably will lead into ongoing pain, even if its cause is not fully recognized or understood. It is ongoing because between best friends, lovers, spouses, etc. there are always good times. These good times can become triggers to pain.

3. Example: A spouse cheated on their partner, and even after the adulterous relationship ended, the former or separated spouse spots a place they went and had a great time with their former significant other, or they see a picture of them being happy together, while initially this can conjure a good memory, it will also follow a course to painful memories. Hence the unresolved issue can compound and lead further to pain and suffering.

4. Now we go into acknowledging anger. First bear one thing in mind. In a situation involving anger in a relationship or marriage remember one thing. Going alone to friends, family, or counseling can be the WORST thing you can do. While the above will lend a shoulder to cry on and give you some justification, it is a BIAS opinion 75%-90% of the time. This is because of context. They were not there, and they didn't face the EXACT situation, and most of the time we don't tell the full truth.

5. That is our human nature, especially involving conflict. Remember it is a conflict; there are two sides or more, and each side believes they are right and competes for victory or resolution in favor of themselves. Likewise, it is impossible and unwise to make a fair call or sound support when BOTH sides are not known nor learned first hand.

6. We'll continue the example of the cheating spouse. A cheating spouse is discovered and the conflict of anger and egos begins. The antagonist or "Cheater", may seek justification for their action, be it money problems, partners physical condition, or a malicious action taken. Now the Protagonist or the one cheated on finds out, and this stimulates a radical and tempest of emotions and thoughts reigning from Anger, Rage, Depression, Suicide, possible and most likely illogical ways to repair a relationship. It is difficult now, but this is the easiest time to heal. The Anger begins and while intense is not seeded, it has not had time to developed or cultivate.

So we've acknowledged the anger, we know its there and we know it is a problem and source of stress. What do we do? Well we DONT shut it out. We don't take time and we don't hide. We attack it head on. Why? It's simple. Problems don't cure themselves in relationships, and while giving up may seem easier, in the long run it can cause problems and conditions that while subliminal and not fully recognized can lead to consistent uncured series of lapses

Now, how do we attack and fight anger that does not resolve differences. First step should always be sitting down and discussing it reasonably. Not only talking about what happened, why it happened and how all parties felt, but also how it can be resolved in a calm supporting and UNIFIED way. I cannot emphasize UNIFIED enough.

Remember relationships from best friends to spouses are worth their weight in gold and not cheap things. There are challenges but they are not bad things, they are times in which the relationship grows like a muscle. It is torn apart only to grow again and come through stronger.

So you must communicate, and never ever provide ultimatums or demands. Address the issues and determine how TOGETHER you are going to make them right. Lets roll with our scenario in the example of the cheater. The Cheater talks to the Cheated, and explains they are simply not attracted to or fulfilled by the lover they have wounded and, say for reason the "cheated" has had trouble with money lately and is not in prime physical condition. Well these are not GOOD reasons to attack and seek another lover.

What can be done? Well, say the person is not making good enough money because of depression. Sometimes there are wounds that cannot simply be sucked up and brushed off. Mental and emotional wounds are some of them. What can the spouse do to be more supportive? Perhaps have a romantic night once a week, or be more loving, supportive, or affectionate to your significant other. Make the effort. If the problem is due to a physical condition, perhaps a joint gym membership, exercising together and/or doing activities together. The point is there are always ideas that will come to the table when you come together to fix a problem. Make that your goal to fix the problem, not win the battle.

As I mentioned earlier the worst thing you can do is seek BIAS advice. If you must rely on an outward source then seek a Christian loving professional that you both see at the exact same time together. These people are good, but only if you give them accurate tools and facts.

Follow through. Ok we've communicated and have a plan of action. Now you must commit to it. And remain steadfast. Do not waiver. Remember that actions that are encouraging are far more effective than a kick in the pants or ignorance. Don't allow yourself to be convinced all is lost. And never take the road of a quitter or hater. These paths are negative and negative things never turn into positive results.