If you have had trouble in your relationship or are having trouble now or have gone through a breakup you may be wondering who or what can help you understand your relationship better. Many people consider if writing letters can help. Although many people will utilize this form of communication whether or not they should needs some thought. This article will discuss letter writing.
We need to examine the good and bad points of writing a letter to help improve your relationship. One good point about letter writing is that most people cannot effectively express themselves verbally in the heat of confrontation. They may forget what they want to say, they get nervous and flustered and the words don't come out right. Those same people may communicate much better in writing. If that's the case then they should write a letter.
Breaking up with someone through a letter is very impersonal. This, of course is a bad point. The person on the receiving end of this may feel even worse when reading this. It would be better to end the relationship in person. Many people don't have the nerve to do this though and they end up putting it in writing. Think through the consequences before you resort to this.
To help you understand your relationship, often times corresponding is better than a direct frontal attack, which talking may cause. When you are speaking, the other person often feels like they have to respond immediately. Their response may not be well thought out and they may say something they will later regret.
Typically letter writing can be very helpful if you ask questions about their feelings and their thoughts. Read and reread what you have written and pray over your letter. Make sure it doesn't accuse the other person of anything. Attempt to encourage them where there are positive things that have happened between the two of you.
Show them you are interested in them, rather than yourself and your needs. Ask them to please respond in writing and tell them you will read their response several times and answer them in writing so there is no confrontation. Tell them you are listening very attentively and want to understand their heart and how you can better your communication and relationship.
You will find you are able to express your feelings more openly in writing than you could verbally. This will help you to be discreet in your words if you are trying to rekindle the relationship and really care about them. Writing it down may not work in your favor in this scenario.
Consider an indirect approach if you are trying to win your ex back. Let the relationship grow at its own pace. Don't try to force an immediate result. They will feel pressured if you do that. Patience is important especially at this time. They may need time to cool off and do some thinking about the good things you have together if they find themselves missing you. It is ok to send flowers or a fruit basket or some candy, but don't have expectations. Allow them to feel all on their own. God can intercede for you and he will if you will trust him and wait for his perfect timing.
Re-start with friendship and then move to sparking the bond if and when the situation presents itself. Do not talk too much. Do not keep going over the negative aspects of your relationship.
Try to just have some fun and enjoy each others company when and if possible. You can send them a funny or romantic greeting card, FREE on the internet.
Make up a list of 30 things you love about them and send them in an email one thought each and every day for 30 days. It will touch their heart and may even bring them to tears causing them to think of you fondly. It did in my relationship. There are sites on the internet that have cute and romantic and clean jokes and stories you can send to them. Don't send too much.
Christian counseling is a good thing too. No one taught you how to have relationships. We do them by the seat of our pants and when we get seat of the pants results, we are not happy. Do not expect something your experience cannot deliver. There are many good books you both can learn from and resource tapes that can teach you methods and help you see yourself more honestly than you may have. When you have a problem, stop take a deep breath and pray. That is truly the best advice you can receive. If you can, pray together hand in hand out loud so not only God can hear your heart, but the other person can truly know your heart. Listen when they pray and respond with love. Do not only think of yourself.
