Compiled by: Rev. Vic Logan

You will never have to worry about paying too much in Income tax. GN/BN ?

Being a Pastor is Like being a CEO, except you don't get paid like most CEO's and everyone in the Church wants to be your BOSS. BN

Most CEO's don't give a hoot about their employees, but it is your job to love everyone unconditionally, and it is expected. GN?

Everyone in the Church wants you to know and solve their problems but they don't think you should have any problems yourself, and heaven forbid you should make a mistake. BN

Most members seem to think it is your job to supervise every aspect of the church; should one of the workers/volunteers not do their very best, you catch it. GN/BN

Even though in the Bible, in 1st Corinthians it says "Love hardly ever sees wrong in others" for some reason your members fail to remember that verse. GN/BN

The Bible also says "judge not lest you be judged with even a greater measure" but that verse seems to somehow fall between the cracks too. GN/BN

When the annual Carnival comes to your church, the members want to see you get into the dunk tank first and it is absolutely amazing how their aim improves like never before. GN/BN

No matter what you may be in the middle of with your wife or family, when a call comes into your home, you are to drop whatever you are doing and attend immediately to the need at hand. (Has anyone ever asked what you were in the middle of?) GN/BN

Your wife must be perfect in every way and be ready to listen to any criticism about you with a smile on her face and she also must agree with the members point of view. GN/BN

Oh, your children had better be perfect in every way and if they ever get a detention at school, you had better notify everyone in the church bulletin. BN

If there is any heated disagreement between any of the members of your church, you had better be right there in the middle of things and agree with both parties so you won't be taking sides. Sounds kind of like a politician huh? GN/BN

Under no circumstances are you to talk about tithing or any other difficult subject that might convict any of your members that they are anything other than perfect. BN

You are expected to be a professional Marriage Counselor whether you are accredited in that field or not. GN/BN

Never ever mention anything in general during a church service if it could be construed as referring to anyone in particular in your church, even though you don't mention any names. (no matter how much good it could do in the lives of others) It is most important you don't take any chance on hurting anyone's feelings. GN/BN/GN

If any church member gives you and/or your family any kind of vacation or gift, under no circumstances should you faint or go into shock. GN/BN?

If any of the families in the church should want to take you and your wife to dinner or invite you to dinner at their home, you must agree with any church opinion they make while with you, even if it seems like bribery. GN/BN

You must laugh at any of your members jokes no matter how old or off color they might be, even if it is a blond joke and your wife or daughter are blond. GN/BN

You may not miss any church board meeting, even if your son or daughter have an important event they may want you to attend. (Remember the Church always comes before family) GN/BN

If you do miss a special event for any of your children, by no means mention it to any church member or you will be considered a bad father, and that could go on your record in your employment folder. BN

You will never have to worry about receiving too big a Christmas Bonus GN/BN?

Keep in mind you are loved by a great number of your members, who also pray for you and your family each and every day and you are loved by God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. GN

More people will be praying for your children than any other member of the church. GN

Remember, when you get to heaven there will be a special reward waiting for you including a Mansion. Many will be there who you led to the Lord and will have hearts full of thanks for what you have done in their lives. GN

Further, a great number will be there to thank you for helping them grow and have more peace and success in their families, relationships and lives. GN

Praise the Lord, you are the most respected man in your Church and that respect comes from your members, your family and your community. GN