God has a Way

I have been involved in every aspect of evil that anyone could imagine. I've been called crazy and demented, and it is beyond amazing that I'm even typing this testimony. You'll understand why as you read on.


I feel strongly compelled by the Holy Spirit to share my testimony with everyone I can, and to type it for those I cannot tell in person. God has delivered me from so much it is impossible for me to stay silent about what he has done in my life!



I can relate to so many I now speak to because I have been delivered from many of the same things they are going through. I pray that God will somehow use my testimony to help bring about hope and change and an increased hunger for God.


I don't care what you have gone through, or are going through night now. God has a way . . . for you to be set free from everything that is keeping you from doing what God created for you to be and do. Wasting your life away like I was wasting my life away is not what life was ever intended to be about at all.



To appreciate what my God has done in my life, I'll give you some details of my past. I can't type everything that I've ever done and been delivered from, but I am definitely going to mention some key events that highlight many of the extremes I was caught up in … while I was living in rebellion to God. Many of these you may be able to personally relate to.



I was born in Minot, North Dakota, in 1982. I was raised in a good Christian home and was brought up like I should have been. I was taken to church every Sunday morning and evening and went to many other church functions that took place. I was taught from an early age how to live for God, so I had no excuse.



I faced various forms and degrees of persecution from the world at an early age for my beliefs, which left their scars. My parents would not let me go "trick or treating" on Halloween, watch bad movies, etc. This from the start made me different from most others my age.



With my emotions being tugged on from many different directions, I allowed anger and resentment to build in me, which is all the devil needs to gain a foothold in a person's life.



Around the second grade is when a change started taking place that led me to do some of the craziest things one could imagine. At that young age, I started getting into pornography, stealing, vandalism, and violence toward others.


I first was arrested around this time period for vandalizing a police officer's home. (That started a pattern of being arrested about every two years after that). I was punished for the crime but I did not learn from it. Instead, it gave me a hunger to keep on with my lifestyle.



I began feeding my addiction for the excitement I got from everything I did. I got enjoyment seeing people suffer and hurting from the things I did. I was a crazy little kid. I have memory of my little brother and I playing on a rope swing one day. He would not let me swing before him so I pushed him off the picnic table we were swinging off of.


When he hit the ground, he broke his arm and had to go to the hospital. I did not feel bad about it at all, but rather, was laughing and happy about the incident. I was punished but once again I would take it and just laugh it off.



During my third grade year I was disrupting class and drove the teacher to cuss at me, which made me mad so I cussed her out in front of the entire class and threw a desk at her. I didn't get in trouble because she cussed at me first. But I had outbursts like this my entire childhood and every time I was punished I just rebelled all the more.



By the time I was in the fourth and fifth grades, I was crazier than ever. I remember being at a Boy Scout camp and some kids were making fun of me, and I picked up an ax and threw it at them. It missed and nobody ever said a word to the leaders of the group because everyone was terrified of me.



Another incident that took place: some kids were making fun of me in my neighborhood and I chased them with a baseball bat. When they locked themselves in a home, I bashed out some of the windows of the house while they were inside.



My parents had me speak to my local church pastor, but whatever was said in those meetings didn't have any positive effect on me. I now really feel I most likely was possessed by some evil spirit, because looking back, the things I did were just absolutely evil. There is no other way to describe it.



By the sixth grade I started to drink and do drugs for a release of some kind to numb the pain inside of me. This became a daily routine. Doors opened up to where I was able to sell drugs. I didn't realize the long-term torment this would bring upon me. I just saw dollar signs, popularity, and a power over people, which is the same thing other kids see who go down that path.



By the ninth grade, I was still living in vandalism, arson, stealing, violence, and drugs. Eventually I was busted when I was 15 years old. Around this time a door was opened in my parent's life to move back to Tennessee, their home state. They thought that this would be a great chance for me to make some good friends and change my life style.



All during this time I was still forced to go to church. I was living two separate lives. Nobody really knew the depths my troubles were. Thinking back . . . even my parents didn't really know the levels of my torment. They just thought I was experimenting in some ungodly stuff and figured I would come back to God.



I learned years later that they were continually praying for me, believing their prayers would be answered. That ended up being much longer than what they hoped, no doubt.



In Tennessee no one knew my past. I really wanted to make friends with the good crowd, but I fell right back into the bad kid group almost immediately at my new school - selling and doing drugs, drinking and partying, and pursuing sex. That was what drove us all.



That continued throughout high school, even though I was still involved in sports and was going to church. Unfortunately, sports and church did not have precedence over my favorite sin - drugs. Drugs became my favorite god. Compared to my younger years, when my "gods" had been violence of all sorts, including vandalism. Now I just had one god.



My drug use was not that of your normal drug user. I would smoke over an ounce of pot a day and drink like crazy. This went on for years. I started also getting involved in other "better" drugs. I started tripping out on acid and mushrooms and taking all variety of drugs. All the while, I was still selling drugs like crazy.



When I graduated from high school, at 18 years of age, my parents could no longer make me stay in church. This is when the partying, drug use, and sex addictions were going to really take over my life completely.



From the age of 18 to 21 years of age I attended college and made descent grades, amazingly, yet I had no earthly idea what I wanted to do with my life, other than stay trashed all the time. I was never sober.



Eventually I moved out of my parent's home and got my own place, living with some friends. Around this time I was introduced to a big drug cartel where I started selling a crazy amount of drugs. I sold about 300 lbs of pot in 2½ to 3 months.


I also sold other drugs like cocaine, pills, acid, and mushrooms, but mainly pot. Things got crazier, because so much drug money was coming in that I could do all the drugs I wanted without it affecting me financially.



For instance, I smoked a quarter pound of pot in one day with another friend. Another time I tripped everyday for three



My constant drug use continued out of control. One time I got involved in a fight and broke my wrist, causing me to have to go stay with my parents for awhile. During this time I knew I needed to straighten up, so I only partied on the weekends and quit being trashed all the time. I was still living in sin --- just not as wildly as before.



I was doing well in college, but still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life by the age of 21. Then something happened that made a huge impact on my life … in a bad way. I was drinking and driving one weekend after work and took a pill a friend gave me. I thought it was a pain killer, but it turned out to be a sleeping pill. I fell asleep while driving and got in a horrific wreck. I hit a mountain head on and was hurt badly. My friend was not hurt that bad, thank God, nor was anyone else that I could have hit. I suffered a broken neck and jaw, along with strains and bruises.



From the injuries I sustained in my car wreck, I now had a new favorite drug and plenty of it. I started using painkillers like crazy. They totally numbed me to the world. I quit drinking and all other drugs at this time. I just wanted to do my painkillers and live in peace. Little did I know that this so-called peace would be short-lived.



I became addicted to painkillers. Not only mentally, but physically. I was trashed all the time but my drug use was not out of control yet. I had a buzz always, but soon my drug use was for survival - not enjoyment. I had been using painkillers for a year straight and had to have another surgery on my right ankle to see if they could fix my ankle so I could walk without taking painkillers. I went to a popular university and had an ankle fusion surgery. After the surgery I remember them bringing me good strong painkillers, and I would take the pill the nurse brought and hold it in my mouth until the nurse left. I would then snort it. This was right after surgery. I then was prescribed such an arsenal of painkillers that it would kill a normal person. I was 22 years old at the time.



When I left the hospital, I knew I would be able to get strong drugs from the doctors, yet another source became available as well. I started ordering narcotics off the Internet. It was so easy. I found out how to get ungodly amounts of narcotics for my pleasure. I would get around 3,000 pills a week off the Internet, not to mention plenty from my doctors.



I also started shooting up painkillers and free-basing heroin. My drug use got so out of hand that my normal day was to wake up puking, with diarrhea, sweating, and feeling like bugs were all over me because my skin was crawling so bad. My normal day for over a year was to wake up and snort pills (shoot up from time to time), and then do so every four hours or I would start getting sick.



In April 2006, I was back in Memphis, Tennessee. I wanted to be drug free so bad. I knew there was a better way. I started going to Norval Hayes' Ministry here and I saw something I had never seen before -- people with a sincere hunger for God. It amazed me, and I rededicated my life to God. (Which wasn't the first time; I had done so before at different times).



My dad always told me I needed to be filled with the Holy Spirit, but I had no idea what being filled with Holy Spirit meant. After rededicating my life to the Lord, I still had thoughts of using drugs, although I was doing everything within my own ability to not use.



One night I was praying to be filled with the Holy Ghost and nothing happened, so I just went to sleep. The next night I was invited to see Paula White speak, so I went. After she finished speaking, she said she felt in her spirit that there was someone in the building that was praying for the Holy Ghost and did not have it.


She also went on to say that this person had come from a crazy background and was from out of town, and that God was going to turn this person's life around so much that when that person went home to see their parents things would be totally different.



After that she called up everyone who wanted to be filled with the Holy Ghost and I just knew that she was speaking to me, and I eagerly went forward.



After she prayed and said what she felt to say, she then said, "Okay, you now have the Holy Ghost." I felt the same. I was thinking in my head: this is the biggest bunch of BS.



I then started to turn to someone next to me to tell them that, and all of a sudden tongues came out instead of what I was going to say to that person, and God's presence touched me all over!


From the very moment this life-changing event happened, my life has not been the same. It was incredible beyond description!



Suddenly everything I had been taught my entire life became clear. There really is a God. There really is a heaven and a hell. My hunger for nothing but the presence of God started that very instant. After that . . . all the thoughts of using drugs left, and have stayed gone since. The pain I had in my crushed ankle was since that took place also.



I started the very next day reading the Bible with great hunger because everything in it is true. I also tried to pray in the Spirit (exercising the gift of tongues) as much as possible. And I wanted to be as close as I could to God's presence. The next day I started going to a prayer group that prays and worships God from 12 am to 6 am.


I've done so every Friday since. It has helped my spiritual growth immensely. Now on Fridays I don't party like I used to with booze and drugs. Now I get a natural high fellowshipping and communing with God and the overflow of praying for others brings such great joy.



I have read the entire bible in a month. I've read the New Testament six times. I don't say this to sound like I'm bragging. I'm saying this because I just can't get enough of God's Word in my mind and spirit. I've also read many other writings by strong preachers. If it is a good teaching, I will read it.


I try to stay mainly in the Word though. I am not trying to get drawn off course by any doctrine of men. By the blessing of God, I am also surrounded by many who are strong in their faith and help me if I start getting off into areas that are not spiritually healthy. I feel it's real important for me to always be surrounded by wise council.



God has brought about so much change in me in the past three and a half months … I cannot even begin to go in depth about all the blessings God has poured on my life. I am going to go to Bible school soon and I purpose to always give God true worship and praise.


I will die before going back to what I have been delivered from. I seek nothing but Gods presence and hope you will continue to pray for me. I don't care about nice houses, money, basically anything of the world -- just God's presence and His will for me. I have experienced the world and it holds nothing for me that I want.



Everyday now when I get up, I praise God, and I can't keep to myself what God has done for me. By the help of the Holy Spirit, God has allowed me to be bold in my faith, and my life belongs to Him. I am trying to do his will and not my own. I just hope he uses me to help people get out of their bondages and into true peace and happiness - not destructive substitutes.



I hope this testimony will make some kind of an impact on whoever reads it. I just want everyone to know that no matter what you are addicted to, God has a way for you to be set free from it.


I don't care how many times you have asked God to help you be free from whatever holds you in bondage, God has his timing and a way for you to get set free. If He did it for me, He'll do it for anyone! I surely am no one special to Him - no more than you … I can promise you.



I don't want anyone getting the impression I think I am totally perfect either. There are some small things God is still dealing with me on, which are part of the sanctifying process all Christian believers experience in their walk with the Lord.


I am aware that as I'm in this fleshly body I will never be perfect. There will be times of trial and possibly even many painful setbacks, but from what God has done for me, and delivered me out of … I dare not stay silent about.



Publicly I do want to say that I am truly sorry for all the pain and heartache I caused my family, and all the others who I hurt as well. No doubt many people I sold drugs to and used for my own selfish pleasure(s may be trapped in sin and demonic bondage much like I was.


I only hope that they can find it in their heart to forgive me for being used of the devil to sow such pain into their lives, and let Jesus Christ become their source of joy instead of all other worldly substitutes this life has to offer.



I feel it necessary to end this with the following scripture. It means so much to me. I've finally discovered what I was created for … which we all were created for:



But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.

-- John 4:23 (NKJV)

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