All that is, and ever has been, is here and now. The past does not exist anymore, it's time has gone. Holding onto the people, places, events and drama of the past is like carrying around another body, a dead body, with you everywhere you go. There is no going back and changing or re-doing anything.
Life, your life, is here and now. To truly live and feel alive, you must be here, in the present moment; here and now. There is no point in reliving the past every day of your life. The Lord wants us to travel light in order to share the light andbe the light. To travel light, you must let go of the past by forgiving yourself and anyone else that you need to forgive in order to let go and move on. Release this heavy baggage and feel more alive than you have in a long time.
"Resentment is one burden that is incompatible with your success. Always be the first to forgive; and forgive yourself first always."
At first, our egos tell us that we should punish those people around us by holding on to whatever drama occurred between us and them. Whatever it was, whether what happened was large or small, it is all in the past, regardless.
You cannot grow if you have not forgiven completely what the past "did" to you. Let it go and move on. You might feel angry as you realize that you cannot hold onto this pain any longer. Surely you enjoyed feeling like a victim, and enjoyed the pain and drama that you received from non-forgiveness. Well, the time of suffering as a victim is OVER. You can be a Spiritual Warrior now, and Spiritual Warriors forgive and forget.
Forgiveness is the ultimate form of healing, as within it we acknowledge that the past is both dead and gone, and that we really are here and now in the Love of Christ. We release others from our bondage and become free in both mind and body as we move on. We may need to forgive ourselves or ask others for forgiveness for the negative part we may have played as well as to take the necessary steps to healing.
It is unbelievable the way our bodies reflect our inner baggage. If we can forgive ourselves and others, and we can, we will instantly feel better. Our bodies and our minds will be lighter, meaning actually filled with the light. When we let go of the past, we make room for new things in our lives. By thinking about the past over and over, we see those same results in our lives over and over.
So, focus on forgiveness and make room inside of yourself for all the beautiful things that life wants to give to you. You will feel better, I promise.
"Forgiveness unleashes joy. It brings peace. It washes the slate clean. It sets all the highest values of love in motion."
When you forgive, you increase your potential in areas of your life. By letting go of the past, you experience a very high level of healing. Everything happens for a reason, as in the book of Romans 8:28 it says God allows all things for good to those that love him and are called according to his plan. You have the power to transform anything into something good and great. Phillipians 4:13 say I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me. Use the Gift of Forgiveness to release the heavy weight of the past from your life, so that you may be a better Gift giver and receiver, here and now.
At Christmas time, we throng the shops to buy gifts for each other. If only we would storm the heart of God to find and give forgiveness instead, how different our lives and world would be. In 1st Corinthians 13 it says "Love hardly ever sees wrong in others".
While the pleasure of exchanging gifts is thrilling but short-lived, the freedom from forgiveness is quiet but everlasting. However, forgiveness is much harder to give than a physical item.
I am no saint and struggle with forgiveness as much as the next person. Sometimes, I still get angry over the silliest of things. I am thankful that at that time the Holy Spirit will remind me what I have been taught about forgiveness. In the bible it also says forgive 70 x 7 per day. Are we doing that? Over the years I've learned to forgive more quickly and more completely. Here's what I've learned about forgiveness from people far wiser and more loving than me.
Most of the time…
When we get angry, it is because of our very own pride and expectations of others to do and say things our way. They are not us. They may think differently. We are all a work in progress the Lord says. We may not have the same weakness others do, but we do have weaknesses and disappoint others from time to time. We all are sinners and fall short of the Glory of God. If we can just remember before judging others that we fall short too; we are not perfect either. I love the Golden rule that says "Do unto Others as you would have them do unto you." Wouldn't you want to be forgiven and Loved as God loves us, no matter what we may do. If he forgives us and he is our example, then we need to forgive others.
Why Forgive?
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
I remember resenting someone so much that seeing that person laugh made me seethe. What right had she got to be happy when I was still suffering from the wrong she did me? I felt like a puppet - any movement she made pulled on my strings and my emotions got jerked around uncontrollably.
In ancient Aramaic, 'forgiveness' means to untie or let loose. By forgiving that person, I untied the puppet strings and was no longer prisoner to someone else's actions. This was the first truth I learned about forgiveness.
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
How to Forgive?
"True forgiveness is not an action after the fact, it is an attitude with which you enter each moment."
Forgiveness as an act is incredibly difficult. It is virtually impossible to forgive when you are filled with anger and resentment. So I've stopped believing in the "how" of forgiveness, and have started work on the "who." Instead of DOING forgiveness, I'm working on BEING a forgiving person. Just as kindness comes more naturally to kind people, forgiveness comes easier to forgiving people.
So what kind of person is naturally forgiving? Probably a highly evolved person. Think about Jesus Christ, Buddha, Nelson Mandela, that cheerful old lady down the street… Forgiveness is a big task. Trying to forgive when we're less evolved is like a sapling bending under the weight of a treehouse. A mature oak will much more easily bear that weight. So we just have to keep on growing.
"It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others."
When to forgive?
"I worry about fast forgivers. They tend to forgive quickly in order to avoid their pain. Or they forgive fast in order to gain an advantage over the people they forgive. And their instant forgiving only makes things worse… People who have been wronged badly and wounded deeply should give themselves time and space before they forgive… There is a right moment to forgive."
The inability to forgive is often accompanied by guilt, because forgiveness feels like a moral obligation. I need lots of space when I'm hurt or angry, and don't want to see or talk to the other person. I used to feel bad about this, until I learned to honor my emotional make-up. And I've learned that if the friendship was true, that person will still be there when I'm ready to re-engage. The bonus is that the other person knows, when the forgiveness finally happens, that it is real.
In my experience, there is usually a crystal clear moment when I know forgiveness is ripe: a sudden image of dying in my sleep that night without telling him I cared, or a tinge of sadness that I would love to attend a function with her except that we weren't talking… At this point there is a distinct change in the energy I feel between myself and the person, a change from a repelling force to one of attraction.
"You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well."
Who to Forgive?
"The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves."
As an teenager I planned to write an entire book about all those who had wronged me. As a young adult I narrowed it down to just a list of awful people. I now realize that there's only one person on that list - me.
You see, I didn't need to forgive that person who publicly called me a bossy person - I needed to forgive myself for not being the sweet demure person I'd like to be but am not.
I didn't need to forgive that ex-boyfriend who cheated on me - I needed to forgive myself for poor judgment and not seeing the signs. It was never about them; it was always about me. And once I accepted and forgave myself, there was nothing left to do - I had forgiven them in the same act of forgiving myself.
