Work! Work! Work! It seems as if it's never ending around our house. Have you ever felt like all you ever do is clean up after your family members? And what about all that ingratitude from the kids? Does it seem like they never appreciate the things you do for them?
Any household has a myriad of routine jobs that must get done. It's best for all concerned that these responsibilities be spread out as much as possible among capable family members.
Even preschool children are able to help in a limited way, but teenagers are especially well-qualified to take the load of chores off the shoulders of Mom and Dad.
Teenagers need to be prepared for the responsibilities which they will carry as adults. In the past twenty years, many parents have been guilty of handing everything material to their children without requiring anything in return. As a result, many adolescents grow into adulthood thinking that the world owes them a living. The Bible says, "If anyone will not work, neither let him eat" (2 Thess. 3:10b, NASB).
Work has taught our children self-discipline and orderliness in their lives. It has helped produce in them the proper values, motives, and priorities. Setting a standard and the expectation that that standard be met will build character in your teens. Ours have learned patience, a servant spirit, time management, and delayed gratification as they have sought to complete a task before recreation or entertainment.
Work allows teens a time to think about some of the deep questions of life. Some of our best family discussions have followed the Saturday mornings when our two teenagers cleaned the house. When we studied under Francis Schaeffer at L'Abri, Switzerland we would study four hours and then work four hours. As we worked along with other students, we were to discuss with them what we had previously studied. Work time is good think time.
Another reason to give teens responsibilities is to keep them out of mischief. As the saying goes, "Idle hands are the devil's workshop." Without chores or homework to keep them occupied, many teens become bored and set out in search of excitement-only to discover it too often in premarital sex, drugs, booze, shoplifting, vandalism, and the like.
Teens ages thirteen to fifteen should be given more chores because teens sixteen to nineteen usually have more school activities, homework, or even work outside the home. Be sure each assignment is by the job rather than for a certain number of hours. On weekdays, tasks should take no longer than one-half to one hour. On weekends, they might work one to five hours, depending on the project.
Always begin their work schedule at a young age-gradually adding to their responsibilities as they get older. Divide the chores as equally as possible between all the children, but do not allow discussions of comparison in which one feels that he or she is not being treated fairly.
There may be times when the schedule of one or more children will not permit time for the necessary work to be done. If so, that person's work may need to be divided among the others, or perhaps the parents should pitch in to help. This can teach an attitude of servanthood.
Determine a list of regular weekly or daily household duties such as dishes, cleaning and straightening, emptying and taking out the trash, laundry, yard-mowing and trimming, pet care, making lunches for school, etc. You might want to add music lesson practice, homework and a daily quiet time. Establish how these will be divided up and a basic time when they are to be completed. It is best to establish guidelines that will encourage the work to be done promptly and correctly. This might include making sure these responsibilities are taken care of before recreation, TV watching, etc.
We strongly recommend that you not pay for every job. Give a regular weekly allowance which they can count on, but expect regular duties to be done cheerfully and with a good spirit-as part of carrying their own weight within the family. If you pay for chores, they will lose that servant attitude and begin to expect something for everything they do.
Occasionally, your teens will ask for extra jobs to make money. You should pay extra for such jobs as leaf-raking, window-washing, cleaning out the basement or garage, etc.
Be careful of possible work overload with any one teen. Expect consistency, and follow through with proper discipline if the work isn't done. You might want to encourage them with a nice surprise or reward after a given work period in which they do an especially good job.
If you follow these guidelines, your teens will develop a healthy attitude toward the work that is a necessary part of life.
