Many seem to feel the freedom to tell us what we ought to think, how we ought to behave and even what we ought to feel. They know what's best for us and exactly how we should live our lives.

These people are not evil, and I doubt that they have bad intentions. They are our sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers, neighbors and sit next to us in church. Having questionable boundaries, and believing they have special insight into our lives, they share freely with us.

Resentment can be a very informative emotion. Resentment tells us about our core expectations, and can also enlighten us as to what is taking place, and what isn't, in our relationships.

I receive many emails from women who are resentful of their husbands for giving too little. Harriet Lerner, in her book The Dance

We often become angry and hostile towards others who mistreat us, and so we should. We often feel helpless to end chaotic relationships, believing we are at the mercy of their actions. It is one thing to feel hurt and angry by what is taking place in your marriage, but there is added pain if you feel helpless to stop your suffering. But, are you

"What about the way she treats me?" Ken said angrily, looking to me for help. His girlfriend, Elizabeth, had just shared her frustrations with him during their counseling session.

Elizabeth winced as Ken continued to escalate.

"I don't know why it's always about what I've done wrong. How can she sit here and go

Broken Before the Affair Your mate is having an affair with your best friend. Your mind races, your emotions range from maddening frenzy to abject panic. You can't eat, sleep or think straight. Nothing is as painful as an affair. You trusted someone with your heart, soul and emotions; you expected faithfulness. You counted on them to keep you safe. An affair

Stability is absolutely mandatory for a child to grow into a healthy adult, and necessary for us as adults to be able to continue to grow and be happy and healthy.
We were not made to thrive in chaos, and yet many seem to think their marriage can survive with chaos in their relationship. It's not going to happen.
Consider the impact of chaos in marriage:

· Chaos creates unpredictability.
· Chaos

We seem to have passed through a lengthy season of "male-bashing." For some time, men were being teased, taunted and humiliated for their emotional limitations. Seen as emotionally clumsy, inept and subsequently disrespected, men became even more resentful and confused about what was expected

With all our crazy thoughts, wild dreams and zany aspirations, we want someone to "get us." We all want to be understood. We want someone with whom we can "be at home." This is all the more critical when we are in emotional pain-we long to not be alone.

"Kerry tries to hear me," Carly shared

If you haven't noticed, men and women are very different. We are quite obviously different in how we look, how we think and how we behave as well. We're different in how we problem-solve, how we deal with emotions, and very different in how we approach intimacy.

Do you find yourself frustrated, wondering if God hears your prayers for changes in your life? Have you fallen into the trap of praying for change, but doing little yourself to enable change to actually occur?

Many of us are experts at doing the same thing, day after day, and expecting our lives to